Get Lower

    Why don’t these changes work? Why can’t my marriage be stronger? Why can’t I be more joyful? Recently, I’ve been reading One Thousand Gifts by Anne Voskamp. This book, besides changing my life for the better, has taught me so many practical ways to be a more thankful and thereby joyful person day by day.  And I have figured something out. Something profound.

    If I want HIM to increase in my life……I must decrease. Seriously. If I want Jesus to be more evident in everything I do, all the people I talk to, how my marriage works, etc., I must decrease in my pride. Though it’s hard to see in myself, I know I have a lot. He must increase, and I must decrease. That means I get, literally, on my hands and knees each day and put my face to the ground. I thank Him for everything I can think of (small and large)—which will increase my joy—and I praise Him for victories BEFORE they happen—which will increase my trust. Then, I humbly accept (with hands open) whatever He chooses to give me. That’s me decreasing. And that’s Him increasing.

This is the o-n-l-y way this life will work.

   What about during the day? In the in between. Those are the times I get lost. Well, when something is said or done that makes me frustrated, I decrease and He increases. If the kids make me a little unsettled, I decrease and He increases. Get down again. Get on the floor. Give Him my thanks and praise. Don’t say anything.  Don’t get easily angered. Submit your arguments. Submit your ability to be right. Decrease. Decrease. 

And when you finally decrease and release, He—will—lift—you—up. 

Summertime in the Middle East

The Helal Family

       Well, it’s always hot. HOT. In the meantime, however, this makes for great opportunities to visit people in their homes because they are always inside.  I have only met one person who owns an air conditioning system. Most people have fans and that is a blessing in itself. Visiting people in the house also means drinking hot tea and most likely eating a hot meal, so the fans come in handy J.

Diana Helal's cooking is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

     Summertime is also a time when first-time visitors get a sense of the water situation in the region. Because of unknown circumstances, water is brought through pipes to the communities (city by city) every 2-3 weeks. When the water is “turned on,” meaning, the pipes are flowing with new water, people’s tanks are filled up. Most homes in this area have a large tank on their roofs. This is the time to wash as many loads of laundry as one can. When the water shuts “off” (after about 2-4 days), families are rationing water from their tank until it turns back on. Fortunately, several families have wells dug near their homes where water can also be stored. HOWEVER, in the summer, the water is only turned on every 4+ weeks. This means people run out of their “rationed water” a lot sooner (because it’s summer), and homes are left either buying water from a water truck, or using water bottles as a source of cooking, cleaning, bathing, etc.
Foreigners get angry. Locals are accustomed to the situation and have adapted techniques of rationing and saving water (i.e. washing dishes in a bucket, washing clothes in bulk, etc.).

Waseem and Rasha's Wedding

        The water problem also affects the amount of fun activities available for these people. The only 3 swimming pools available to these people are either in expensive hotels or local sports clubs. There are no “community pools,” lakes, or beaches. There IS the Dead Sea, however. Unfortunately, it’s “dead” because of the infamous amount of salt, which allows nothing to live/grow inside. The Dead Sea can be a boiling pot of oil on a hot summer’s day.

Ghasan and Paul

        Summertime fun activities—or what we Americans would call ‘normal’—are rare. No movie theaters, no outside malls, no theme parks, no zoos or wild animal parks, a few children’s playgrounds (2-3), no place to travel without permission and a visa. What do they do here during the summer? Go to weddings. Watch the Americans play in the annual basketball tournament. Build relationships from sitting and talking.  Unfortunate? Well, considering how often I visit people in their homes to build relationships when I’m in the states, I’d say we’re blessed despite the circumstances. It’s always easy to find things to do (especially in Orange County, CA). But sometimes the biggest rewards sit right underneath the roofs of the people around us. And they are waiting for people to come and visit, even if just to talk and drink tea.

Mamas

Bathtime

             It’s hard being a mama. You know, if you are one. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting several other mamas out here. Some mamas have one baby, some mamas have 6. But I feel like we all have the same thing in common: We all want to spend as much time loving on our kids as we do cleaning the house, working, cooking, changing diapers, spending time with our husbands, exercising, spending time with the Lord, and the other thousand responsibilities we have in and outside of the home. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. Instead, we miss so much of our kids’ lives by fulfilling those “other” duties. Is it our fault? No, these things have to get done. But how can we MAXIMIZE our time with our kids so as to satisfy their need to have their mama there full-time, plus fulfill our duties faithfully?

So happy!

When I was in college, I lived with a woman with 4 kids and watched her interactions with them. She had the same duties I had. She worked, she had babies at a time, she was busy ALL the time, she was the sole cook and cleaner of her house, etc. But she always seemed to enjoy her time.  When her kids sat and watched a tv show, she sat down and watched it with them. When they wanted to ride bikes, she rode with them. When they had soccer games, she sat the whole time. Sure, her house was not the cleanest all the time, but it was always presentable, and her kids were always satisfied with the time she gave them. She didn’t worry about the cleaning and cooking as much as I do sometimes. When her husband came home, instead of agonizing about how much he doesn’t help around the house, she put the vacuum down and playfully sat next to him.

Cheeeeeeeese

                Husbands need wives. Children need mamas. But as much as we serve and sacrifice, we also have to remember that they need liveliness in us, too. They need us to be playful. They need us to be relaxed. They need us to be quick to laugh, and slow to anger (isn’t there something in Scripture about that?). They need us to enjoy the moments, not just live in them. They need us to sing and smile just as much as we clean and cook. They need us to tickle and giggle as much as we burp and feed. I hope I spend this month being a mama like that.

When Evie had a fever, this is what we did

A Day in the Life of Education

Teaching a preschool lesson

When I went to Kenya in 2005, I saw the difference between education and lack thereof. Kids who went to school were not only more knowledgeable, but had higher goals regarding their lives and the possibility of change in their country. Kids who went to school had aspirations that I had never even heard of. Kids who went to school had an idea of the world outside of their village. Kids who didn’t, had a whole lot less of everything. Of course, it wasn’t their fault; nor was it their parents’. It was the fact that a lack of education meant (from what I experienced) a lack of a larger perspective. I came back from that trip and changed my major to Teaching.

Phillip at home, while his sister is in school

Boys outside their home (could not go to school)

Children in school

      The school I work/volunteer at is a good one. I love it. I love the students, I love the atmosphere, and I love that there is an exponential need for growth for which I am able be used to my ability. Yet, there is still something missing. Like all schools in the area (government and private), there exists an extreme deficiency of outside resources. This includes after school academic programs, clubs, sports (besides basketball), and in-school academic achievement opportunities. Our students are no doubt pushed to succeed academically every day in their classes, however there is a need for more motivation to not only survive school, but to thrive in school. I have asked myself that question many times; How can I add to this need? Recalling my high school days and all the programs and opportunities available to us as we went about those four years, I want the same for our students. 

Recess

      Recently, our high school put on an “Academic Decathlon” for the students to compete in teams against one another. Realistically, what that meant was I prepared several questions from multiple subjects (most academic, but some unoriginal), and made a huge Jeopardy Game. The students loved it. Even more, they were challenged to go beyond their daily routine and they thrived. My mind warped around other ideas to get students involved academically (lower performers as well as higher performers), in order that they may be further motivated to achieve greater academic goals for themselves while they still attended their classes. An annual Spelling Bee, a Quiz Bowl for the elementary school, an ASB program, Literacy Competitions, a mentoring program; there are countless projects to divulge into. Thank the Lord I have the strength and energy to dive in while the water’s hot!

Sometimes I am really grateful for the gaping needs of this community. It means we have open chances to make some delightful changes!

Deeply Rooted

Deeply Rooted

Isaiah 40:31 “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

I am 25 years old. I have been married to a great, God-fearing and God-following man for almost 3 years. I have two beautiful and healthy babies. I am 4.5 months pregnant. I live in a country thousands of miles away from all my family.  And I love and serve a God who is faithful.

These are facts. I have to remember the facts during the storms in my life. The facts are what keep me grounded; deeply rooted. This life is not easy. Not just my life, your life. Every day is either a day to be thankful for, or a day to wish would end. But, can’t we also be thankful in those days? Thankful for a Father who is always faithful to His word. We are coming into a new season of life at the moment. Less relying on jobs, more relying on support. Less planning for the future, more planning for the day. Less worry, more faith. But with it, comes doubt and hopelessness sometimes. I don’t know what lies ahead. I don’t know what next year looks like. I don’t know what it will be like to have 3 children under 2 years old. I don’t know what friendships will last and which ones will flounder. I don’t know who or what the enemy will throw at me to discourage our work and vision out here. I don’t know where the money will come from. However, I do know some important facts. And if I hold to these facts, I can be thankful and joyous throughout all of these uncertainties.

Fact #1: GOD is my father, my provider, my comfort, my joy, my strength, my light, my word, my Lord.

Fact #2: This same God—hears and loves me.

Fact #3: God has provided in the past for our family’s uncertainties and will provide in the future no matter our doubt.

Fact #4: My reason for living is to love and serve my Creator and those around me, starting with my HUSBAND and my children. When I honor, respect, and love them, I honor, respect, and love God.

Fact #5: God has provided me with a partner who also loves and serves Him and who I can find joy in every day of my life. He earnestly seeks the Lord and we find Him together as one. He loves me.

Fact #6: My children are healthy, provided for, and sweet. They laugh every day.

Fact #7: We have chosen to serve the Lord and the people of Israel for such a time as this.

Fact #8: God promises that He works everything for the good for those who love and serve Him.

Fact #9: Paul and I are healthy and thankful.

Fact #10: I have a passion, desire, and talent to work in the field of education and God has provided the opportunity for me to do so now.

What are the facts of your life? When I scroll back up to those uncertainties, they look scary. It can be like a dark hole I crawl through, hoping there is a way out. But when I remind myself of the facts of my life (and there are many more), everything else seems so clear because the answer lies in the truth. And the truth is: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 And so we prepare for the rain by digging our heels in the truth so deeply that no amount of wind can sway us.

Remembering Why We Are Here

            Wow, what a month of change! Well, some things are very much the same…I’m still a momma, but now there are almost 3 little ones! I’m still volunteering at the school, but my time commitment is shortened by whenever I can actually get out of the house. And our desire to enter into the community has grown tremendously since we returned from a short visit to the states (for those of you we didn’t get to see around Christmas time, I hope you understand. It was just BUSY).

            Coming back this time was difficult for me especially. I would like to blame the negative feelings I had on being pregnant, but I don’t know for sure if that was it. Basically, I had my first breakdown, ever. Leaving the warmness of California, the beauty of the landscape, the opportunities in our city, and most of all, the wonderful families behind was extremely difficult for me this time. Then coming to a cold, empty home, with no one to hug and greet our two little babies, no heaters to warm their little hands, and a forgotten “purpose” of our life out here made it almost impossible to remember the reasons we were here in the first place. I cried, a lot, those first two weeks. I wanted rejuvenation from the Lord. I asked Him to show me why we were here. Selfishly, I didn’t stop to think about the dozens of people who had been waiting the whole time we were away for us to come home. I didn’t think about the impact that the Lord has made through us being here in the lives of the community. I didn’t even think of the friends we have made out here who treat our kids as if they were members of their own family. I just thought about warmth, and sun, and California, and my family. I guess it was not a good combination of events.

       Nevertheless, the Lord is faithful today, tomorrow, and He was during that time for me. Through talking with multiple people, He showed me that just our presence here has made an impact on the people of this region. So much so that if we were to never come back, we would be breaking a lot of hearts. Friendships out here are so very important because relationships are all these people really have. Not warmth, not opportunity to travel, not a lot of money, not lakes and beaches. So if we are here building relationships through love, support, and just sharing our families, that seems to be enough. The Lord reminded me of that. And slowly, the cloud of depression lifted and the sun begun to shine again. Now He is changing our hearts towards a new ministry opportunity that will most definitely change our lives, as we know them. As this little one grows inside of me, I can again be confident that Jesus is here with us, and He knows what we need to keep us not just surviving out here, but thriving. Even if at times, that may just look like a beautiful, sunny day.