Wow, what a month of change! Well, some things are very much the same…I’m still a momma, but now there are almost 3 little ones! I’m still volunteering at the school, but my time commitment is shortened by whenever I can actually get out of the house. And our desire to enter into the community has grown tremendously since we returned from a short visit to the states (for those of you we didn’t get to see around Christmas time, I hope you understand. It was just BUSY).
Coming back this time was difficult for me especially. I would like to blame the negative feelings I had on being pregnant, but I don’t know for sure if that was it. Basically, I had my first breakdown, ever. Leaving the warmness of California, the beauty of the landscape, the opportunities in our city, and most of all, the wonderful families behind was extremely difficult for me this time. Then coming to a cold, empty home, with no one to hug and greet our two little babies, no heaters to warm their little hands, and a forgotten “purpose” of our life out here made it almost impossible to remember the reasons we were here in the first place. I cried, a lot, those first two weeks. I wanted rejuvenation from the Lord. I asked Him to show me why we were here. Selfishly, I didn’t stop to think about the dozens of people who had been waiting the whole time we were away for us to come home. I didn’t think about the impact that the Lord has made through us being here in the lives of the community. I didn’t even think of the friends we have made out here who treat our kids as if they were members of their own family. I just thought about warmth, and sun, and California, and my family. I guess it was not a good combination of events.
Nevertheless, the Lord is faithful today, tomorrow, and He was during that time for me. Through talking with multiple people, He showed me that just our presence here has made an impact on the people of this region. So much so that if we were to never come back, we would be breaking a lot of hearts. Friendships out here are so very important because relationships are all these people really have. Not warmth, not opportunity to travel, not a lot of money, not lakes and beaches. So if we are here building relationships through love, support, and just sharing our families, that seems to be enough. The Lord reminded me of that. And slowly, the cloud of depression lifted and the sun begun to shine again. Now He is changing our hearts towards a new ministry opportunity that will most definitely change our lives, as we know them. As this little one grows inside of me, I can again be confident that Jesus is here with us, and He knows what we need to keep us not just surviving out here, but thriving. Even if at times, that may just look like a beautiful, sunny day.
