If you have ever been away from everything familiar, you must know how shockingly lonely it can be. Without family, mom, sister, brother, niece, nephews; you begin to wonder if your children will ever know what it is like to have a relationship with the people you love the most. Of course you have friends and family where you may be, but it isn’t the same. The Lord has blessed us with the opportunity to minister out here, build relationships with people, educate their children, listen to their stories, hear their struggle, bond with a culture, learn a language, live in the Holy of holiest lands, and grow in knowledge and love for His glory and for His kingdom. He is the sustainer wherever we are. At the same time, it’s easy to think you need more. “God, thank you for giving me this opportunity….but could you also bring us home once a year to visit family? Can you also help my children to know their grandmothers? Can you also continue to show yourself in each of their lives as they grow to learn about you? Thank you.” More, more, more.
Recently, I have encountered a book (provided by my lovely sister, Adia), called “One Thousand Gifts,” by Ann Voskamp. It is a magnificent challenge to live fully right where you are, with exactly what you have, in all situations. It has really changed my life in many ways. More specifically, it has challenged me to be grateful in ALL of life, and to WRITE DOWN all the little things I am grateful for (i.e. the feeling of Ezra’s hand on my neck when I hold him, the smell of fresh laundry, my husband smiling at dinnertime). As I continued reading this book, my mind began searching for things to be thankful for. What I found was awe-inspiring.
I began to notice my husband. I started to notice how with every new morning, my husband wakes up laughing with Ezra in the living room. I noticed how he cleans the house with me every Friday. I noticed how every nap he puts the baby down to, he prays with him. Then he leaves Ezra’s door stating, “Okay baby, get at least 2 hours of sleep now, and we’ll keep playing when you wake up.” I noticed how he now washes each dish he uses and faithfully places it in the dish rack. How he is so quick to laugh at Disney movies with Ezra, and quick to cry while watching movies with me. How every moment of the day, he is aware of how he is bringing the Kingdom to these people. How he always makes time for me to take a nap during the day if I need some extra sleep. How everything he does is for his family. How everything he does, he does it for the Lord. As the Lord continued to open my eyes, I continued to notice these small wonders, these small gifts that occur every day which I would normally ignore. I began to love my life right where I was. What’s more, I began to see how the Lord gives me all that I need. Though I don’t have my relatives here, though life can get lonely, though I am new to this culture, the Lord gives me all I desire. He showed me that through my husband. It was as if I was watching God at work in my household. It WAS watching God in my household. The Father was showing me His work through his son (Paul). Now, when I look at my husband, I remember to live fully, in gratitude, right here where I am, for however long I am here.
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